dandan

Ive been meaning to write for some time now.  I like to get all my thoughts down on paper, otherwise it’s a big mish mosh in my head.   As of now, its 2011.  Another year has FLOWN by, and its starting to settle in how much I need to get my shit together.  I have a great job coming up, and honestly, I need to pour my heart and soul into it because the bar life is going no where.  Its fun, but its hard to keep up with all the drinking every single night.  I don’t want to do that shit all the time, especially when I spend all my time in the bar as is. 

Sam.  I didn’t really expect to fall in love with you, and I didn’t really expect to build so many memories with you.  But now I do.  Its time for me to dive into you and give you everything Ive got, because I want all that you have, and you might not be giving it to me right now, even though you say you are.  Youre tough, and you are firey.  You say it like it is, and you not afraid to tell everyone to shut the fuck up. Youre dirty, and you are sexy.  I smile when I think about your bad side. 

What do I want 2011 to bring?  Prosperity, and depth.  I get attached but rarely give myself to others.  I am afraid to tell people how much they mean to me because I don’t want to sound gay.  Well, Im not gay, so I need to cut that shit out.  Just say it like it is.  Also, I need to cut gay out of my vocabulary.

Chicago, you have also been good to me so far, but mostly because I have made you be good.  I stay ever vigilant and I feel like that’s what it takes.  It’s tiring, but even more so because of the double life I live. 

Pursue that thought that makes your heart go wild and beat with fury.  It’s the only way.

~Dan